Courage

Courage – the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, or pain without fear; bravery.

I was moved to write on this topic after listening to so many different stories about victimization, oppression, and civil rights – and how these are seated in the current political climate.

In our culture, courage is often portrayed as virility and bravado. The maverick, the vigilante, or the rebel are often applauded for fighting for their vision of justice. Perhaps we remember episodes of the Lone Ranger or the story of Robin Hood. There are times when that attitude is essential to correct an injustice.

There are also characters that forge ahead, living according to their own convictions, albeit idiosyncratic and sometimes distorted. Here, we may remember the figure of Don Quixote. A figure living his individual truth, he pursues his own concept of truth as he tilts windmills and “saves” people from themselves. These visionaries nudge us to look at life in an unconventional manner and to relate to people and situations in a fresh way.

But what about the courage to be affected by someone else’s tears, to be touched by a person’s emotion, to be moved by someone’s story?

What about the courage to continue living when a loved one is gone from your life? There are few images of people suffering with their grief – not pretending to move on in spite of it or trying to live in denial of it. Perhaps the image of Demeter mourning her daughter Persephone after she was abducted by Hades fits here. But the story is not read with an association to courage.

Where does a person find the courage to get out of bed every morning after nightmares of past trauma have haunted them all night? Where does a mom find the courage to take care of herself and the rest of her family after the loss of a child? Where does a person with severe injury or illness find the courage to face the basic tasks of daily living?

In these cases, getting out of bed, getting kids off to school, getting yourself to work, eating nutritious meals, or contacting a friend are all acts of courage.

Friends and family often advise a loved one to put it behind them, look ahead, or count their blessings. One has a better chance of winning the lottery than they do of facing the day with optimism when they’re in the throes of flashbacks or chronic physical pain. These experiences have a way of wearing down even the most hopeful and steadfast person’s resolve.

Then where is the courage? At these times, an act of courage is one’s ability to sit with and tolerate their emotions with conscious awareness. Courage allows a person to connect with the emotional messiness and uncertainty of life.

As friends, parents, spouses, teachers, therapists, or doctors, we open our hearts to people’s pain. As courageous individuals, we open ourselves to our own pain – those wounded, still sensitive places within. There is no cure for many of our psychic wounds. But as we sit with them, give them expression, share them, and allow them to work on us, we discover over time that they have changed us. When we are brave enough to let ourselves be conscious of the many parts of ourselves, we gain a new sense of grounding, of balance, and of perspective. We may find that we have softened. In hindsight, we may discover that, like the cowardly lion in the Wizard of Oz, we have more courage than we thought. Or like Joy in Disney’s Inside Out, we learn that powering through a difficult situation with a smile on your face isn’t always the approach that helps a person reach their goal.

In Jungian terms, we wait for the transcendent function to emerge. This energy allows for the transformation of our emotion, conflict, or psychological impasse into something new. A new perspective appears or new direction is revealed.

So I’d like to invite you to look at courage not so much as acts of heroism driven by our personal agenda, but as an internal attitude toward personal challenges and human suffering. Courage is embedded in the belief that our experience has meaning and purpose. Courage recognizes that when we sink into the emotional realms of our life, we emerge revitalized and psychologically stronger than before. Courage asks us to gaze with loving eyes upon the landscape of our psyche and honor the experiences that have gone into creating our self. It encourages us to move beyond our current pain and one-sidedness. It invites us into conscious contact with a universal force that urges us to grow into more whole, integrated beings.